Increase in Swiss Bank deposits is a master stroke!- Satire

Rather than criticizing Modi, appreciate him for his hard work which is better than Harvard, and wait for the next elections for him to announce your upgraded Pekej.

  • Darshan Mondkar

The increase in the Swiss Bank fund deposits from India is a Masterstroke…..and I will tell you how!!

You remember how in 2014 the Indian deposits in Swiss Banks was Rs. 14,000 Crores? Modiji had made firm claims of getting back this black money which belonged to the country and how you all will get 15-15 lakhs in your account, if all that money is got back and distributed to people.

Over the last 7 years this has been treated this as your deposit in Swiss Bank and now it has grown to a whopping Rs. 21,000 Crores (give or take a few 100 crores chillar here and there). This is almost a 50% increase in YOUR deposits. While you have been blaming Modiji for not doing anything for you, he has been silently working to make sure your deposits are safe and growing.

In 2024 all of you will get Tunty Tunty Lakh in your accounts instead of Pandhara Pandhara Lakh. Not just that, all the previous notes were in old currency, the new deposits are all in latest 2,000 notes…..Yes!!! With Nano chips. So we know exactly where the money is, in which locker, under whose account…. Khone ka chance hi nahi.

Of course, this money could have been brought back a long time ago, all that was to show Laal Laal Aankhen to the Swiss and give them a “unhi ki bhasha mein jawab.”

But Modi Ji doesn’t know how to speak in German, French or Romansh and he will never ever speak in Italian (Hah KhanGress ki Bhasha). Also it is always better that if you are storing things you should store them in cool temperatures. That’s why we store our vegetables in the fridge no? So keeping the money in cold Swiss climate was a sensible thing to do. Kharaab nahi hoga.

So, rather than criticizing Modi, appreciate him for his hard work which is better than Harvard, and wait for the next elections for him to announce your upgraded Pekej.

( Darshan Mondkar is an activist and author. Views expressed are personal)

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