Dowry and toxic mardaangi

The real problem in a dowry death is not the girl who keeps quiet when beaten or the girl’s family who turns a blind eye. It’s the family of the man and the man himself who should be called out loud and clear and shamed for being such lowlifes.

  • Darshan Mondkar

There are many ways to earn money. You can take up a job. You can start your own business. You can do hard manual labor.You can use your brains, that thing one uses to think…. No not the thing between your legs, it’s between your ears, find it…. Use it, innovate and make money.

But what is this, you stretch your hand forth in beggary?

And that too from the family of a girl you are about to marry!! How shameless can you get? Even the beggars on the street are more respectable than you who demand money from a girls family….

And for what? Because you are a Man? Is that the value you assign to yourself?

And then when the girls family doesn’t pay you enough, and it’s never enough coz your greed doesn’t end, then you beat up and torture the girl to display your toxic mardaangi??? You think that makes you look masculine?

Hell no, there is no one as pathetic and as wimpy as you are in that case. After every dowry death that happens we make statements like “Awww why did the girl take it? Why didn’t she run away?””What kind of parents are these? Why don’t they take back their daughter?”But let’s take a step back and address the elephant in the room.

The toxic dowry begging man and his equally pathetic family. In 2019, there were a total of 7100 reported dowry deaths. That’s almost 20 girls killed per day. Lets take a vow to shun these people from our society. Let’s take a pledge to not give or take dowry ever and beyond that to not associate with anyone who has taken a dowry (there is no such thing as a willing dowry or reeti riwaaz).

The real problem in a dowry death is not the girl who keeps quiet when beaten or the girl’s family who turns a blind eye. It’s the family of the man and the man himself who should be called out loud and clear and shamed for being such lowlifes.

Do you know what is better than a dead daughter?…a divorced daughter?…. NOPE. A happy daughter. Stop being obstacles to her happiness and let her live her life her way. She is not your property or a “paraya dhan” either. And meanwhile teach your sons not to be such a-holes.

(Darshan Mondkar is an activist and bestselling author of ‘Scattered Rainbow’)

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